When I left my husband back in 2010, I left behind my dog Ivy. I could not take her away from him. Even though I was the one that picked her out from the pound, he loved her too. What I did to him was bad enough, I couldn’t be heartless.
Now when I look back, a part of me regrets what I did. Not so much the infidelity but walking away from an animal that I loved with all my heart. She was always by my side even when I was downstairs in my hospital bed recovering from a chronic illness. She was forever loyal and made me laugh during a time that there was nothing left to laugh about. Somehow she felt that I was broken and did everything she could to bring a smile to my face.
I knew I did the right thing by not taking her away from her home and my husband who loved her just as much as I did. Her love felt unconditional and loved us both equally. I knew she would be okay. I just did not realize how hard it would be for me. I thought there would come a time I would recover from this loss. Yet, that has not happened.
I think about her all of the time. I miss not being with her and visualize not spending her last days with her. Those thoughts, no matter how morbid remind me of how much I really gave up.