Monday, March 25, 2013

Judgement



When Home Wrecker was originally published I was looking around for a perfect cover. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted but I knew I wanted it to have a pop. At that time, I was just so elated to have found a company interested enough to publish my story.

I looked around online to get ideas but nothing really jumped out at me. Then I remembered that I had a friend in LA that was an artist that I used to pose for while she drew my figure. At one time we were very good friends and she would have done the world for me. She was British and very artsy and sophisticated. She seemed so adult-like compared to me. I loved going over to her place that smelled of fresh lavender. We could sit for hours while she drew and we drank fancy tea. I just loved how with just a simple charcoal pencil she could make something out of nothing in an instant. I guess you could say I was in awe of her.

For years we saw each other off and on and eventually lost touch.

Through mutual friends I heard her husband left her for another woman. I did not know the details but I judged it. I mean, I judged him. Without knowing the whole story, in my eyes I knew he did her wrong. Eventually, they ended up getting back together but at that point I was already living in Orange County.

Fast forward several years, while I was considering ideas for my book cover her name came to mind. I looked her up and saw she had not moved so it was easy to contact her. I asked her if she would be interested in doing the art work for me and she said she was busy but she would try to do it. She was incidentally working on a “well-Known” authors book cover.

I sent her a copy of my manuscript right away and waited for a reply and then I waited some more. When time passed and I did not hear from her I tried contacting her but she would not respond to my calls. It was then that I knew something was wrong. Maybe my story hit too close to home.

I knew people were going to judge me for what I had done, after all I titled my book Home Wrecker. I just never thought people in my own circle, people that once loved me would turn their backs as they did. It was then that I realized I would forever be judged for my actions.

We all live life having different experiences. Sometimes you can’t understand another persons decisions unless you have travelled in a similar direction. At first, I was very hurt by the loss of this friendship but over time I have come to understand how sensitive this topic is for so many people. At one time, I would have judged what I had done too. I might still be prone to judging but I think this experience has taught me to be more understanding of others and don’t always judge a story by it’s title. There might be so much more to the story that I might have missed out on.


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