Monday, February 3, 2014

Children Helping Children Builds A Better Self-Esteem


Our story “Ty the Bull” is personal to me for many reasons.  Most of all because I see a child living a life of disappointment.  I can relate on many levels except I had a pretty descent upbringing. I had two parents that worked together to give me a good well-rounded life. In some ways I was more blessed than most. There was never an ounce of doubt that my parents cared for me and never did I worry if either one was going to stick around. My childhood was a secure one. 

For young Ty, that is not the case. Kids in school seem to fight him for no reason, cutting him down every chance they get. He feels bullied, alone, and misunderstood. His parents divorce only made things worse. His safe childhood was lost into the abyss. His parent’s marriage couldn’t survive their hurdles. Instead when they went their separate ways, Ty’s life changed dramatically. Suddenly he was being raised by a single parent. His dad practically disappeared and it was then that the insecurities and self-doubt multiplied.

I believe my ex-husband became the angry guy that he is because of his parents divorce when he was just eight years-old. His father wasn’t available. He often described waiting by the living room window watching for his dad to come pick him up for a planned outing. Over and over he didn’t show. Rage kept building up like an avalanche. Eventually his faith tumbled down in a barrage. His mother re-married and he was pushed into a family that did not feel like his own. He wanted to run but there was nowhere to go. He was stuck and that was when those walls started cementing in place. His disillusionment became a brick building. Solid and unmovable. This divorce changed him forever.

Unfortunately, for Ty, his story has become a common one. Times have changed. Most marriages don’t last and the bullies of the world continue their torture on innocent victims.

On a good note, this boy is resilient and looks for the good in things. I believe this is the time that matters. Not later when he gets in trouble with the law or becomes involved with drugs. The time is NOW. Carrying around this kind of anger and isolation becomes a ticking time bomb. It’s not healthy for anyone. I believe children need to learn early on that there is nothing to be embarrassed about. They should be assured that they are NOT alone.

It’s during this time that the conversation should get started. Stuffing in all these negative feelings  is worse than a cancer.


Children can feel empowered sharing their stories and learning to help others. There is nothing better than the feeling of giving back. That is a lesson that can last a lifetime. We all need to feel important and worthy. This is a start to building a better self-esteem and in result, a better life.

8 comments:

  1. What a great story! I can relate a little because I was bullied when I was a kid. My parents had their problems but they never divorced.

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    1. Thank you Karen. Sometimes I wished for my parents to get a divorce but in reality having them together made me feel secure and loved.

      Bullies will always be around. We have to take away their voice! We have to be empowered and ignore them!!!! :-)

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  2. Excellent blog post, Brenda. I'm so glad you and Rex are writing this book. It will help many kids in the same situation.

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    1. Thank you Greta. And with the help of Kim Mutch Emerson, this story is going to shine bright!

      I really do think this will be inspiring for kids and adults. :-)

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  3. What a fantastic book this is shaping up to be. So many kids will benefit from this. You're an inspiration, Brenda.

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    1. Thank you Tricia for your kind words. You are such a wonderful supporting person. I appreciate your interest and on-going support. I do feel good about this project. It's people like you who remind me how important it is.

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  4. I think a lot of people could learn and get help from this. Proud of you Brenda!

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    1. Thank you for that. I so appreciate you taking the time to stop by. This feels so important. More than anything I am proud of Rex who has put it all out there. Not an easy thing to do!

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